Or We Can Burn
by Jerilynn
Summary: Post Never Again – Expansion of truths not yet known. - this is a bit of an experimental one -
1. Chapter 1

Title: Or we can burn…

Category: Angst/MSR

Rating: M

Summary: Post Never Again – Expansion of truths not yet known.

Disclaimer: Mulder, Scully, and all other X Files related characters belong to Chris Carter, TenThirteen Productions, and FOX Productions. The purpose of this is purely for fluff and fantasy; no profit shall be made minus a few grins or giggles. Credit to Kygo for "Firestone" lyrics.

Changes will be notated, if there are any, and please check back for any added chapters.

 _I'm a flame._

 _You're a fire._

 _I'm the dark in need of light._

"Not everything is about you, Mulder," the words floated from her lips with an air of sadness yet held a sharpness that ripped through him like kitchen shears. "This is my life."

"Yes, but it's m—" Mulder stopped speaking, realizing how much of an ass he'd sound like if he dare uttered another word, her eyes burning a hole through him, her chin still downturned.

"Your what?" Scully played with her coat, the bruising on her face still fresh, regret stinging from behind the frustrated, melancholy façade she was upholding.

Mulder swallowed hard and glanced up at the ceiling, exhaling hard, loudly. "Nothing, Scully."

The silence in the air was deafening and had the mass of an elephant that neither knew how to move without retreating into defeat, allowing an assumed victory by the other. Mulder was hurt and so was Scully but neither had enough gumption or resolve to tell the other, surmising that the other would not give a damn despite how out of character that would be. Mulder knew he had no right to be upset over Scully's _oh so obvious_ fling with a random man that she barely knew but he couldn't help himself. There was something that angered him because he KNEW her better than this and yet, she went against every notion he ever had of her. He could not understand what was going through her mind and wanted her to just spill it so it could end his suffering, but he knew how selfish it sounded even needing that from her. She didn't owe him a thing—never did.

"I'm going home, Mulder—" Scully started to get up from her chair, stifling the urge to tell him everything.

Mulder got up and stood next to hair in a half assed attempt to keep her from leaving, willing himself to man up and talk to her. "Scully, please just stay…talk to me."

"Why? So you can lecture me like some incredibly disappointed father figure some more? You're not satisfied berating me for the last 30 minutes over all of this?" Scully verbally slapped him around, the frustration in her tone boiling over as she stood up and nearly pushed past him, her arms sliding forward with her jacket across her forearm. "I'll pass on that if you don't mind."

Mulder felt the unmistakable sting that he knew he deserved that remark but refused to back down as he fully blocked her movement, half pushing her rear end against the desk. "Dammit, Scully, just stop it and listen to me for one fucking second! Can you do that?"

Scully's eyes widened as she looked up at him, dropping her coat clumsily on the floor in an effort to grab onto the desk, the anxiety rising in her throat. Mulder was too close to her right now, but not for an issue of comfort, it was the fact she couldn't run now. She was half shaking as his hands surrounded hers, gripping the edge of the desk right along with her. She inhaled deeply, glancing at his hands, the tension building as his fingertips pressed so hard they were white. Her eyes followed up his arms and settled on his face, where she could not help but see the intense fire burning behind his cornea, aimed at her.

"I'm listening." It was all Scully could do to keep from screaming and crying all at the same time as their eyes locked on each other.

"Scully how many times do I have to tell you that you are all that I trust in this world? That you're the reason I have a shred of sanity left?" Mulder's voice went ragged as he read her the riot act, the vein in his forehead bulging with every breath. "Why do you refuse to trust me? Let me in."

"Mulder, I do trust you but—" Scully teetered on the edge of tears, her eyes diverting to the floor. "Please don't make me do this."

"I'm not making you do anything, Scully—I NEED you to tell me what the hell is going through your mind because this is so unlike you. You're acting like I would and I don't like that you won't tell me why," Mulder tilted her head up, refusing to let her look away. "Don't shut me out."

The physical collision and moment of satisfaction with Ed Jerse paled in comparison to what she was experiencing with Mulder now and there was something intoxicating about Mulder's dominant stance that sent a jolt to her knees, causing them to shake almost uncontrollably. Her bottom lip quivered and her hands trembled, her heart and stomach both fluttering with anxiety and an adrenaline rush. A light in her flickered and an unmistakable flush formed on her cheeks. Scully's lips trembled as she fought back the tears, eyes searching him. Mulder's fingertips slipped to her clavicle, playing with her cross, brushing against her skin ever so slightly, and his free hand instinctively steadied her at the waist, gripping one of her belt loops.

"Mulder, take me home."

Mulder's chest deflated, his eyes dropped to the floor, and he felt the brutal sting of refusal from the woman he would undo his life for. He sighed deeply and started to back away from her, not wanting to look at her, his vulnerability was written all over his face, on display for her. Scully seemed confused by his actions as she reached for anything on him to keep him from moving, snagging her delicate fingers on his tie, both hands still shaking nervously. Mulder looked down at her and took in a deep breath, thoroughly confused.

"Scully—"

Scully pressed her index finger against his lips, teetering on her heels before repeating a little louder and carefully enunciating each little syllable, hoping that she was understood this time. "Take me home."

"Okay, Scully…I'll take you home," Mulder leaned down and picked up her coat, sliding it around her in such a way that can only be described as an affectionate gesture before turning toward the door to leave.

Scully swallowed hard and followed him out the door, pulling it shut behind her. The walk to the parking garage was a blur for Scully, her mind whirling around the notion that she had been blindsided by cancer. _Betsy Hagopian. Leonard Betts. Betsy Hagopian. Leonard Betts._ The vomit was up in her throat. She couldn't tell Mulder—she didn't want to be seen as weak in his eyes and definitely didn't want to be treated differently. If you don't say it out loud it cannot kill you, right? Scully was rationalizing her refusal to tell her partner that something was wrong—and part of her knew that he would be so angry knowing she was hiding this from him. He was, by all accounts, her best friend, after all, but this was different…this was more than just a revelation to Scully. She was seeing this as a death sentence and if she didn't say anything it could simply be avoided. It was more than simply losing her life—it was not being able to continue the journey next to him. Her stomach sunk at the thought of not being there for him—unable to see this quest through, even if it was only for him.

"No, don't go to Georgetown," Scully could see that Mulder was about to take the exit toward her apartment, her voice sharp, almost desperately pleading with him.

Mulder half swerved back into the lane, caught off guard by the tone of her voice. "I thought you wanted me to take you home."

"Yours…" Scully didn't catch herself before the word slipped from her lips, her voice small, meek.

Mulder had the desire to ask 'what' but he knew exactly what she just said. He nodded in her direction and continued on toward his own apartment, continuing the drive in silence. He glanced over at her only once, taking notice of her hands trembling in her lap. _What are you hiding from me, Scully?_ Mulder's mind could not get wrapped around it but he knew that he was about to take a bulldozer to the wall she was attempting to construct around her, one way or another.

One hour later, Mulder's apartment-

Mulder jiggled the keys in the door and pushed it open for Scully, who was bundled in her jacket like a small child. She walked in and took off her jacket, draping it over the arm of the couch, sinking into the fabric. He shook his head just slightly, shutting the door behind him, locking it tight. He turned around to see her almost examining his Yankees cap, holding it by the bill, thumbing over the white lettering. He contemplated her and leaned against the entryway jam between his kitchen and the living room. He watched her fingers roam over the lettering in soft, fluid motions.

"So are you going to talk to me or sit there fondling my Yankees hat?" Mulder attempted to inject a little humor into the awkward silence.

Scully's gaze hit the floor and she choked back a flood of tears, burying her face in her hands, muffling the words just slightly. "Do you ever have the desire to run far away and start all over, Mulder? Just forget who you are and pretend you're someone else?"

"Every time I get my magazine subscription renewal bills—" Mulder let out a chuckle, hoping to inspire a glimmer of laughter from his partner, but he knew he was failing.

Little tears rolled down her cheeks and landed on the top of her hand. Scully sighed softly and reluctantly wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. _Cancer. Deterioration. Death._ All of it meant a lot more than she wanted to admit but she couldn't bear to let the words come out. Not to him. Not tonight.

Mulder scooted between her and the coffee table, sitting down on the surface of it, inadvertently sitting on a jagged object. He let out a "frrrp" sound, pursing is lips together, shoving said object away from his left cheek before putting his hands over the top of hers. He sighed, a resignation of tension as a preparatory action to be whatever Scully needed right now.

He could feel the moisture of her tears on the top of her hand and his heart sank. "Let me in, Scully—"

"Mulder, please, I can't," Scully refused to look at him, her voice cracking now as she allowed herself to gently sob.

Mulder tilted her head up via her chin and laid a little kiss on her forehead, wiping the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. Her eyes closed in a slow motion as Mulder rubbed her cheeks with both hands, cupping her face in his hands. Mulder pulled her into an embrace, surrounding her protectively yet tenderly. She melted into him, her head buried in his chest, hands gripping his sides while his gathered in the middle of her back, pulling her to the edge of the couch, closer to him. Scully took a deep breath and pulled back, looking into his eyes for the first time since they got to his apartment. Mulder looked down at her and kissed her forehead again, brushed a little bit of her hair out of her face and found himself contemplating her features. He was drawn to the rosiness in her cheeks, the little bit of a pout on her lips, her eyes shimmering from crying. He wiped the remnants of tears with his thumbs and placed a kiss on both spots in the middle of her cheeks.

"Mulder…" Scully's tone was not much higher than a whisper, lips trembling as she finally caught his gaze.

"Mmmhmm?" Their faces were mere inches from each other and his voice was more than a comfort to Scully.

Scully's fingers slipped to his shoulder blades and dragged downward, settling at mid back. "Make me forget."

Mulder didn't ask how, he simply slid forward a little more and parted her lips with his thumbs, sliding them outward until they were near the corners of her mouth. He grazed his own bottom lip across the space between her lips before grazing her teeth with his tongue. He knew her better than almost anyone but not in a physical sense, at least not until now. Her heart was practically beating out of her chest as he seemed to know exactly how to drag a moan out of her. The sound was almost guttural as it came from her lower belly and emanated from her lips, vibrating against his.

 _When we touch, you inspire._

 _Feel the change in me tonight._

He was gentle with her but could feel an unmistakable heat from her as she let him in, his tongue finding hers, the air between them colliding and melting together. Mulder's fingers laced through her hair and tugged on her soft tresses just enough to tilt her head back to gain better access to her mouth. He nibbled on her bottom lip and half sucked it into his mouth, tapping his tongue against her tender flesh half between his lips and teeth. He let go of her lip and looked down at her swollen bottom lip, then listened for her threaded breath.

 _So take me up, take me higher._

He pulled her into another open mouthed kiss and parted her knees, sliding his own between them while scooting forward. He guided her forward, pulled her knees around his waist and lifted her up, her hands instinctively moving around his neck while his cradled her rear. He stood up, refusing to remove his lips from hers and clumsily shoved the coffee table against the rounded table across from the couch with his foot. For a moment Mulder hovered with Scully's legs wrapped around him, her shoes slipped off and tumbled under the desk while they both devoured each other's mouths. Mulder haphazardly threw his blanket on the floor and slowly guided Scully onto the soft material. He hovered over her and reluctantly withdrew his mouth from hers just long enough to pull off his jacket and tie.

"The floor, Mulder? Really?" Scully found the ability to smile as his hands were already on the front of her blouse, unbuttoning it slowly.

Mulder let the front of Scully's blouse fall open and he leaned down, kissing the pale skin just below her bra. "Ah come on, Scully, you won't even be worrying about the floor in a minute, trust me on that one."

Scully bit down on her lip as Mulder unbuttoned and unzipped her slacks, his fingers pulling the fabric away from her body, sliding them down past her knees. "Are you absolutely certain, Mulder?"

Mulder discarded her slacks and brought her knees up a bit, pulling down her knee high nylons. He locked eyes on her as he leaned down and kissed the spot just above her knee near her inner thigh. Scully bit on her lip a little harder and let out a little moan, her gaze on Mulder. Mulder watched as her breathing began to hasten while his lips traveled up each thigh, fingers sliding over the silken material of her panties. A low growl emitted from Scully's lips as Mulder dragged his teeth along her left inner thigh.

The sound brought his mouth to a stop as he looked at her, a small curve of a smile appearing on his mouth. "Very certain, Scully…"

Scully groaned and closed her eyes for a moment to gather herself before slowly sitting up, assisting him in untucking his shirt. Mulder slid her shirt the rest of the way off and discarded it next to her slacks before looking down at her delicately unbuttoning the front of his shirt. His eyes traveled up her arms and settled on her face. He smiled as he fully realized that her powder blue matching bra and panties were now the only clothing still on her while he was completely dressed by all accounts. Scully pulled the sleeves down on his shirt and nibbled his collarbone while tossing his shirt aside in the growing pile of clothes. Her hands traveled to his belt and painstakingly slid the slack through the loop until it finally gave way and slid off in a slow, fluid motion.

"You're awfully good at that, Scully…been practicing?" Mulder made a wiseass comment as his pants were already undone and halfway down to his knees, Scully's lips still nibbling a trail along his collarbone.

Scully smiled softly and pulled his head down toward hers, lavishing his lips with a very passionate kiss, pulling him forward he hovered over her again. Mulder wiggled the rest of the way out of his pants and his shoes; the socks didn't want to budge but finally gave way after the pants were free of his ankles. Mulder lifted her back off of the floor and unhooked her bra, his mouth kissing down her neck while exposing her more tender flesh. The goosebumps appeared almost immediately as the cool air hit her breasts. The sensations were intoxicating to Scully as Mulder carefully and strategically kissed in a circular pattern, purposely avoiding her nipples until she arched her back and pressed her chest up against him.

Scully's voice cracked again as he finally enveloped her left nipple with his lips and lightly with his teeth, tugging it outwardly and then releasing it, repeating the same action on the right, "Mulderrrr...uhnnnnn, oh fuck."

"Scully, what do you need me to do?" Mulder's almost rhetorical question licked at her subconscious, his lips next to her ear while his fingers pulled her last remaining article of clothing down past her thighs.

Scully knew that tonight she was not the woman staring at death but rather a woman allowing the only man she truly trusted to let her feel something more than fear, regret, and anger. She knew that she would have to reveal everything about her cancer to him soon but not tonight. Tonight she needed to feel something meaningful—powerful—scintillating. She half writhed out of her own panties and looked up at him while bringing her thighs up to his hips, half frowning at the fact he was still in his boxers.

She kissed his cheek and let her lips hover near his ear, whispering. "Don't fuck me…make love to me, Mulder and don't hold back…I don't want to remember my own name in the morning."

Mulder maneuvered out of his boxers and guided her legs around his waist, pressing against her just enough to tease her. Scully growled at his deliberately slow movements, craving more of him. The feel of his skin against hers was damn near electric and flowed through her like lightning. For a moment, time seemed to stop as they looked at each other, the space between them nearly gone. Their mouths found each other again and eclipsed in a kiss as Mulder slowly filled her to the hilt. Her words "Make love to me, Mulder and don't hold back" looped continually in his head as her body began to move to his beat. The sweetest sound in the world to him was Scully's panting and moaning in a rhythm that nearly matched his thrusts.

Nothing else mattered in this moment as the world around them disappeared while they reveled in each other's energy, feeding off of the only good vibrations that mattered—each other. They didn't need to know why—all they needed was each other in this moment. They were not FBI agents tonight—they were two people taking refuge in each other's arms, indulging in each other's passion.

End Chapter 1

YES THERE WILL BE A NEXT CHAPTER! PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS LOVES!


	2. Sparks Will Fly

Title: Or we can burn…

Category: Angst/MSR

Rating: M

Summary: Post Never Again – Expansion of truths not yet known.

Disclaimer: Mulder, Scully, and all other X Files related characters belong to Chris Carter, TenThirteen Productions, and FOX Productions. The purpose of this is purely for fluff and fantasy; no profit shall be made minus a few grins or giggles. Credit to Kygo for "Firestone" lyrics and M83 for "I need you" lyrics.

Changes will be notated, if there are any, and please check back for any added chapters.

Chapter 2: Sparks Will Fly

Mulder's apartment – the next morning

The light through Mulder's window was an unwelcomed intruder as the first stream of light hit Mulder's face as he turned his head ever so slightly toward the ceiling. Mulder groaned a little and rubbed the sleep from his eyes then looked down at the delicate redhead with one arm and one leg draped over him. Her face was half shielded by her hair but he could tell she was still locked in a blissful sleep just by her gentle breathing. She had her head rested on his chest, her left hand just below that, and her left leg out from under the blanket, draped carefully over his leg, her toes lightly touching his skin He brushed her hair out of her face and let his fingers linger over her still flushed skin. She looked even more stunning than he could have ever imagined her looking—something that he never thought could possibly happen but it had. He carefully picked up her hand and brought it up to his lips, kissing each fingertip then her palm. Scully started to stir, her toes stretched and settled followed by an audible sigh.

"Mmmmm…" The sound that came from her lips put a smile on his face as he kissed each fingertip again.

"Your neighbors are going to give you very dirty looks in the elevator after last night," Scully's eyes remained closed as the words came out of her mouth, her voice a little scratchy and strained.

Mulder chuckled and kissed the top of her forehead nearest to her hair line. "More like jealousy— _I wish I could make someone be THAT loud all night long. I need to ask him what his secret is._ "

Scully smirked and snuggled closer to him, the light from the window now hitting her face as well as her eyes opened just enough to become slightly blinded by the stream of light in her eyes.

Scully squinted and groaned. "You should probably close the blinds, Mulder."

Mulder half growled at her but resigned to the fact that he definitely didn't want the sun in his eyes anymore and slid out from being halfway under her to get to his feet. Scully laid her head against the pillow from the couch and followed the line of his body up to his naked ass as he twisted the blinds shut. She smirked as she watched his glutes twitch while he turned just a little bit to feed the fish as well. It was not like she had never seen him naked before but she definitely didn't take the time to admire each and every muscular curve and line on him.

"It isn't polite to stare, Agent Scully," Mulder looked down at her as he closed the tank lid, smirking.

Scully laughed and bent one of her legs, sliding the knee up just a little bit, cuddling the blanket. "I'm not staring—I'm thinking."

Mulder crouched down and put his head under the blanket near her feet, burrowing under the blanket up toward her face. Scully let out a little laugh as he made a grunting noise, the blanket covering him to his calves. Mulder rubbed her ankles and continued higher up on her legs, causing the laughter to become a little louder. Mulder nibbled the spot above her kneecaps, her hips, and then above her breasts causing the laughter to quiet. Her heart began to beat a little faster, her breaths becoming audible and closer to panting. She ran her fingers through his hair and tilted her head back as his lips touched along her collar bone, sending little waves of heat through her again. Mulder's head popped out from under the blanket, his hands pulling her hips into a more accessible pose while he grinded his pelvis against her.

"Again?" Scully gasped then moaned, her hands clutching onto his shoulders, gripping them tighter.

Mulder pulled back just a little bit and somewhat aggressively pulled Scully onto his lap, his hands rubbing her back while her legs slid around his hips. She let out a surprised squeak and then moaned as he nibbled on her ear, fingers lacing through her hair. He was making her feel undeniably beautiful, sexy even, and had awakened a part of her that she didn't know was alive anymore.

"Are you complaining about that?" His voice dropped an octave as he slipped into her again, burying himself in her.

She moaned into his ear and dug into his back, overwhelmed by the heat and energy from him. She felt achy almost everywhere but craved more of him as he gripped her hips and grinded upward into her. They found their rhythm again, colliding with each other, tuned and timed perfectly to the other. They ached for each other yet craved the comfort that they could offer to one another. Scully made eye contact with him and licked his lips, nibbling on the bottom one. He half growled and found himself devouring her mouth again, her moans bouncing off of his explorative tongue. They couldn't get enough of each other and it didn't matter why—all that seemed to matter was the pure electricity between them.

 _Sparks will fly,_

 _They ignite our bones._

A loud, sharp knock at the door brought their movement to a dead stop. Mulder groaned and withdrew himself from her slowly, hearing the pang of disappointment from Scully's lips with his absence. The knocking persisted despite their attempt at simply ignoring the noise as Mulder wrestled with his boxers.

"Agent Mulder—did you forget your meeting this morning?" Skinner's unmistakable voice sent both of them into panic mode, both reaching for articles of clothing.

"Oh…shit," Mulder half stumbled into a pair of jogging pants and shouted. "Sir I will be RIGHT to the door—completely slipped my mind."

Scully pulled on her slacks and started fumbling for her shirt but was not finding it amongst the melee of blankets and throw pillows. She half growled in frustration before snatching one of his gray t-shirts from the top of a pile of what she hoped were clean clothes and pulled it over her head. Mulder looked back at her as he got to the door, grinning in spite of himself.

"Yeah that's inconspicuous, Scully," Mulder smirked at her as he unlatched the door.

Scully mouthed "what?" at him, rolling her eyes in his direction while running her fingers through her hair to "tidy" it up a bit. Scully tossed the blanket over the remaining articles of clothing and sat Indian style on the couch, attempting to act natural. Mulder opened the door and stood blocking the entry.

"I'd have thought you'd be glad not to see my face this morning, sir," Mulder cracked a wiseass comment and continued. "I completely forgot about the meeting and I apologize for that…I had a long night."

"Agent Mulder, normally I would be subtly thrilled that you chose to take in a little outside the office scenery but not when you don't give your immediate supervisor the same opportunity," Skinner looked halfway irate and understandably so as he continued to rip Mulder a new asshole. "This was requested by you to begin with-"

Scully accidentally knocked Mulder's watch off of the side table and cringed as she caused Skinner to stop talking, leaving a painfully awkward silence in the apartment. Mulder's head and shoulders slumped down, eyes immediately shutting. Skinner peeked around Mulder and saw Scully sitting on the couch with an embarrassed look on her face.

"Agent Scully—"

"The pipes in my kitchen decided to burst last night in my apartment and Mulder has been kind enough to let me crash here while the plumbers gut my kitchen—it's completely my fault, sir," Scully stood up and lied so effortlessly on his behalf.

Mulder looked at her and smirked, his eyes immediately diverting to her braless figure under his t-shirt. Scully crossed her arms and weakly smiled at Skinner, who resembled a deer in the headlights.

"That is absolutely understandable, Agent Scully, but I would hope in the future I will get a phone call letting me know that we need to reschedule a meeting?" Skinner looked at Mulder directly as he inquired.

"Absolutely—next time," Mulder nodded and smiled, feeling as though he had just dodged an uncomfortable inquisition.

Skinner inhaled sharply to shake off the uncomfortable and awkward moment between himself and the two agents in front of him, opting to take a step back. "Well, I'll let you get back to your morning—Agent Mulder we'll reschedule that meeting for another day…Agent Scully, good look with your apartment."

"Thank you, sir…" Scully turned back toward the living room and sat on the edge of the couch, sighing softly.

 _That was a close one_ , both of them were clearly thinking.

"Absolutely, Skinner," Mulder nodded and started to close the door, locking it behind him. "Burst pipes, Scully?"

"Hey, it worked, didn't it?" Scully smiled and leaned back, pressing her shoulders into the cushions of the couch.

 _Agent Scully, you are becoming more and more surprising by the second._ Mulder couldn't help but think, his eyes lingering over her. She looked different to him and not in a "we just had sex" kind of way but rather in an "I never realized how sweet your face was until now" kind of way. He felt like a teenager and was a little nervous around her in spite of himself. She smiled softly at him and half blushed as he looked at her.

 _I could be yours, for always…all you have to do is say it and it would be so._ Her mind bounced the girlishness around and nearly made her forget about the grave news that she didn't want him to know.

Mulder laughed a little bit and sat down next to her. "So…do you plan on talking to me about what is going on with you? Or are you going to avoid the discussion entirely?"

Scully inhaled sharp and stared toward the floor. "It can wait."

"Scully, you're killing me—last night isn't something I'll soon forget but I can't help thinking that what you're keeping from me will make last night a lot less special," His lips lingered over the last three words as his hand rested over hers in her lap.

Scully looked at him as she brought her legs up Indian style, slightly turning her body toward him. She smiled softly and leaned forward, gesturing for him to meet her in the middle, to which he happily obliged her. Their lips touched and rubbed together, letting each other in again. There was a twinge of gentleness growing between them as her hand rubbed his arm, half pulling him forward. His eyes closed along with hers while his tongue brushed against her bottom lip. They tilted and enveloped each other, mouths opening just enough to let the other in until Mulder felt a warm drip on the top of his left hand. Their mouths separated reluctantly and Mulder looked down at his hand—crimson.

"Scully…" Mulder wiped a small trickle of blood from the opening of her nostril with his right hand and showed her the deep red color smear on his fingertips.

Scully took a moment to look at his hand and everything started to fundamentally shatter around her, the room fading to a bright, colorful blur. She let out a labored sigh as her eyes fluttered and her entire body began to lean clumsily toward the back of the couch, her consciousness fading. Mulder slid forward and scrambled to catch her, preventing her head from smacking against the armrest. He slid a pillow under her head and almost went into a panic as her chest heaved and the color drained from her face. He was calling to her but she could not hear him, her eyes could barely struggle to remain open as he went to dial 911 on his cell phone.

"Come on, Scully, keep those eyes open – help is on the way – I need you to stay conscious," Mulder's voice was so shaky but still managed to half bring her back to reality.

She forced her eyes open as best as she could, the dizziness and nausea increasing by the second along with the feeling of dread. She wanted to spit it out that something was wrong but all she could do was look up at him, nod slowly, and hold his hand weakly. He kept saying her name over and over as she looked up at him. Scully's bottom lip started to quiver as she watched him do what he seldom allowed anyone to see him do…cry.

End Chapter 2

Yes, chapter 3 is already in the works – this was short only because chapter 3 will be much longer. Please leave constructive critiques or awesome comments. They are ALWAYS appreciated.


	3. Holes in the Sky

Title: Or we can burn…

Category: Angst/MSR

Rating: M

Summary: Post Never Again – Expansion of truths not yet known.

Disclaimer: Mulder, Scully, and all other X Files related characters belong to Chris Carter, TenThirteen Productions, and FOX Productions. The purpose of this is purely for fluff and fantasy; no profit shall be made minus a few grins or giggles.

Please note that all songs are current titles – credit to their respective artists and writers.

Changes will be notated, if there are any, and please check back for any added chapters.

Chapter 3: Holes in the Sky

 _Holes in the sky_

 _Pierced by the fire_

 _Somebody pull me from the dark_

The air in the hospital room was stale; the only sounds in the room were the soft beeps of the monitors –heart, blood pressure, oxygen levels, etc. He couldn't help but feel responsible for her condition as he held her hand and watched her sleep. The doctors had not returned to her room since giving her a mild sedative to help her sleep as well as taking multiple vials of blood to run tests on. They had kept her condition tight lipped to Mulder despite his passionate demand to know what was happening to her. Mulder kissed the top of her hand and felt the sting of tears welling up in his eyes, each tiny droplet reminding him that everything he touches becomes poisoned—he hoped that maybe her pure kindness and strength would be immune to his curse but her current state was telling him that she had not been able to overcome it.

"Please be ok – I can't lose you, too," Mulder was pleading with Scully as she slept, his tears streaming down his face. "I'll do everything to protect you…no one else matters."

He could not help muttering at just how much of a selfish bastard he had been as he looked at the one woman in this world that he would give anything to suffer in a hospital bed. She held his heart in her hands whether she knew it or not and he longed to know if he would be able to hold hers, protect it. One woman, despite all other notions or ideals, was there for him through every messy search and investigation—Scully. No one would truly miss him if he were gone except for her, he hoped. He would be lost completely if she were not there to figuratively rescue him at every turn even though he had never had the balls to admit that to her. She meant something and his heart was weighing in on the heavy price she was paying on his behalf.

"Fox?" Maggie Scully's familiar, filled with concern voice brought him out of his own head from behind him in the doorway.

He turned toward her, not bothering to wipe his tears and stood up. "They won't tell me what's wrong with her—"

"They let you stay with her?" She seemed confused yet half relieved as she interrupted him while taking steps toward her daughter's bedside, the stress visible on her face.

Mulder glanced at the floor. "I told the doctors I was her husband—I couldn't sit out there while she is in here. I'm so sorry Mrs. Scully. I don't know what happened…she just, collapsed in my arms."

Maggie Scully had a very instinctive motherly notion toward Mulder, especially when he was clearly in a delicate frame of mind, and nodded gently at him before giving him a gentle, much needed embrace. "I am glad that my daughter has someone that cares so much about her well-being…nothing to apologize for, Fox. I doubt that she would have had it any other way either—she knows she is safe with you."

Mulder didn't even care that she was using his first name again; his concerns were all on Scully's health and condition. He offered Maggie the seat next to Dana's bedside and stayed within arm's length of her hand. He couldn't help but dwell on that thought "safe" and felt that this was far from safety—it was eating at him that somehow he was responsible for her condition.

"Could I get you a coffee? Tea? Water?" He offered, noticing that she was already softly sobbing at the mere sight of Scully in that bed, her hands shaking as she reached for her daughter's hand.

Mrs. Scully nodded and looked up at him. "Tea would be wonderful. Thank you."

Mulder nodded and took another look at Scully before reluctantly leaving the room to retrieve Mrs. Scully's tea from the waiting area. He took a deep breath and carried his coffee and Maggie's tea back towards Scully's hospital room. Mrs. Scully was holding her hand when he got back into the room. Neither of them needed to speak for a few moments as both were silently weeping over the uncertain state of Scully. Mulder wiped the tears from his eyes and took a small sip of his coffee, staring at Scully's delicate fingers with monitoring tape and pulse oximeter, the wires trailing up her arms and around to the stand. Maggie moved Scully's hair out of her face and kissed her on the forehead before sitting back down, pressing her hand over the top of Scully's arm. Mulder knew this was killing her—and how couldn't it? It was killing him and he wasn't her family.

"She's going to be ok—you know how strong she is," Maggie didn't look at him but her voice was determined despite the tears in her eyes. "She never gives up."

Mulder nodded, the words were lost to him as he continued to look at Scully in her bed—her fragility only highlighted. "Sometimes I wonder if all of this is my fault—if there was something that I could have done to fix it."

"Don't blame yourself for anything that is happening. You can't control something like this. None of us can. She wouldn't let you fix it even if you could have; she's stubborn just like her father," Maggie stood up and squeezed his arm. "I need to make a phone call."

Mulder sat down again, took Scully's hand in his and rested his head against the bed. He was mentally exhausted and the stress of watching Scully in this state was more than he wanted to go through. He could hear her heart beating and tried to focus on the sound—the gentle, yet strong thudding in her chest. He closed his eyes, fingers tracing a circle on the top of her hand while the side of his head settled against the mattress. He kept chanting "please be ok" over and over in his head, the seconds ticking by so fast that they quickly turned into minutes.

"I wish you could hear me, Scully—because if you could hear me I would tell you please don't leave me here alone. I don't know if I can do this alone," Mulder's lips were against her arm, half muffling his words. "I know I can't do this alone…you're the reason I even keep going. Do you even know that? I want another chance to make it right."

Sleep was licking at him; the pure exhaustion was far too much for him to bear as he drifted into dreams, the images of his fleeting moment with Scully flashing in his head. He wanted to go back to the night before when he was holding her in his arms—before the moment she collapsed. He wanted to replay the night before over and over, take refuge in their passionate interlude. He sucked back another round of tears as his mind replayed holding her until the ambulance arrived—the pain all over her face. He wanted to erase it all but that was not meant to be as his sleep was short lived. He was awakened by a booming, angry voice that oozed of pure hatred.

"All of this is on you, selfish bastard," the voice was all too familiar to Mulder as he turned toward the voice.

Mulder wasn't even fighting the comment as he looked up; the energy had all but faded from him. "Good to see you too, Bill…"

"You have the audacity to be a smug asshole while my sister is in that hospital bed?" Bill was breathing fire as he pointed his finger at him, his entire body trembling with frustration and anger.

"The asshole part is the only reason that I'm still upright at this very moment—I rode in the ambulance with her, held her hand while they tried to keep her awake but I'm sure that doesn't mean shit in that bulbous head of yours," Mulder had completely lost his patience and stood his ground, staring Bill down. "If you think that I'm not ripping myself up about this you are beyond wrong and blind."

"You couldn't stop at ripping away Dana from being here for Melissa's death—you had to go and put her in a hospital bed," Bill was going for the jugular but he did not care in the slightest as he continued to rip into Mulder. "You want her dead, too, is that your game plan? Kill off both of the Scully sisters—we just don't need them, right?"

Mulder took a deep breath and started to speak but was taken aback when a weak, gentle voice brought him down a notch. "Enough, both of you…"

Mulder's emotions overwhelmed him, the silent tears streamed down his face as he turned and looked at Scully, who was now very much alert and awake. Bill swallowed hard as he watched his sister look at Mulder with a sweet, almost loving, labored smile, her weakened state visible all over her face. Maggie Scully came back into the room and shot a sideways glance at Bill before going to the other side of the bed to embrace Scully.

"You had me worried sick, Dana," Maggie rubbed her back gently before looking at her, tears in her eyes. "Charlie was even ready to buy a ticket to come out here. Haven't heard from him in ages but he took my call when he listened to his voicemail…all to check on his sister."

"Mom…I'll be ok…Bill, just leave Mulder alone for my sake. You can manage that, right?" Scully's attention was not on her brother at all, but she was addressing him.

"I'm your brother—I'm supposed to protect you from pathetic sc—"

"Don't…just stop it," Scully's focus went back to Mulder as her voice softened again. "Hi…"

Mulder didn't care if anyone was watching as he kissed the top of Scully's hand, his eyes shimmering through his tears. "You're not allowed to scare me like that again…"

"I'll work on that next time, Mulder," the color was already starting to return to her cheeks. "I do need you to sit down so I can say what I should have said last night."

 _Leonard Betts. Betsy Hagopian. Leonard Betts. Betsy Hagopian. They aren't me! Grow a set, Dana. Can't you see how much this is killing them?_

Scully took a deep, cleansing breath as Mulder sat down, refusing to let go of her hand. Maggie also sat on a chair on the other side of her while Bill remained a statue at the foot of her bed. Mulder was half shaking with the suspense, which caused little tears to well up in Scully's eyes. He squeezed her hand reassuringly.

"I didn't want to say this without knowing that it was certain but after the latest test results came in I knew for sure that what I feared had become my reality," Scully had tears sliding down her cheeks.

"Dana, you're scaring me…what results?" Her mother had turned white, her heart sinking in her chest as the air in the room was practically sucked out.

"This is so much harder than I thought it would be but I want all of you to know that none of this is anyone's fault—I don't think anyone could've foresaw this particular fate," Scully inhaled and exhaled, continuing. "There is an inoperable malignant tumor between my nasal cavity and my cerebrum."

"Scully—"

"I'm not giving up, Mulder," Scully squeezed his hand as she interrupted him. "I have been so consumed with fearing death that I didn't realize how much I have left to live for—how much I have to fight for. I'm not ready to give up…not now, not ever."

 _We build the hope_

 _We are Believers_

 _Somebody free me from my chains_

Bill was staring at the floor as he listened to his sister's words, as though they weren't real. Maggie was in tears and couldn't bear to make eye contact with her daughter. Mulder was swirling around with his emotions—the frustration of her keeping it from him was mixing with his fear of losing her and it was all he could do to keep from wrapping her in the safety of his arms. Bill's mouth opened but no words came out before he half slammed his hands against the footboard of the bed, leaving the room immediately after.

"Mom…" Scully was in tears thinking that Bill was angry at her, eyes diverting toward her mother. "I don't know what he wants from me anymore. I'm not a child anymore. This isn't something he can stick a band-aid on or beat up some boy in order to fix…"

"Let me go talk to him, you concentrate on staying calm," Maggie kissed her forehead, squeezed her other hand and followed Bill out into the hallway to calm him down.

Mulder didn't know what to say as he looked down at her little fingers holding his hand. He wanted to take her away from all of this pain and suffering, hide her away from danger, but he knew that it would not be so, not this time. Her eyes were filled with tears, the tension in the air was thick and she felt so very helpless as she waited for him to speak. She could tell that he was holding something in and part of her was afraid that the words might hurt.

"Mulder, please say something," Scully's voice trembled, the emotional gravity of her words taking effect on her own psyche.

Mulder inhaled deeply before speaking. "Why didn't you tell me sooner? What if I had hurt you last night? I shouldn't have done that—"

"Don't say that, don't ever say that. I didn't collapse today because of last night—last night was special," Scully pressed her finger to his lips. "And I've waited for it for a very long time. Please don't take that moment away from me."

The words may not have been able to come easily to Mulder but his actions always spoke volumes as he leaned in close, kissing her softly yet lovingly, wiping the tears from her cheeks. He breathed her in again, felt her strength bloom in a heat wave through her lips. He belonged to her, body and soul, and didn't need to enunciate it with anything but this. She held onto him, her fingers gripping the fabric of his shirt, allowing him to give her a little bit of his warmth.

"Ahem…if you let your brother see that right now he may just lose his mind," Maggie's voice brought them back down but she couldn't hide the subtle enjoyment of catching such an intimate revelation as this.

They separated, the blush instantly forming on both of their faces followed by sly grins they could not hide. In that moment, Mulder knew that he was part of the reason she was not going to give up and he knew that he needed to be her strength to keep fighting.

"Mom, it was noth—"

"I wasn't born yesterday—and neither were either of you," Maggie smirked, continuing. "I just know your brother."

Scully glanced at Mulder while answering Maggie. "I know, mom."

Mulder almost didn't care about big brother Bill walking in and getting pissed off at the sight of him loving up on Scully. He kissed her forehead and held her hands, kissing the tips of her fingers while she looked into his eyes. The loving moment was interrupted with the presence of her doctor as he came into the room, followed by Bill.

"You're awake, Dana…that's a step in the right direction," he continued, arms crossing in such a way that he had to tuck the clipboard under his arm. "We ran a few more tests on your blood today and while I am not pleased with the results in terms of your tumor I can tell you today more or less was an indirect result of a weakened immune system—your electrolytes were low and you were bordering on anemic. If you plan on undergoing any serious forms of treatment for this cancer, you have to take better care of your body. I'd expect that out of a medical doctor."

"Lecturing aside, what kind of treatment realistically is she facing?" Mulder was curious and concerned as he made eye contact with the doctor.

"There are a few experimental forms of chemo that have had strong advances on tumors like these—there are also a few treatments that are more focused on genetic therapy with less map-able results," he glanced back and forth between Mulder and Scully.

The doctor was almost too matter of fact but Scully seemed to know that he was correct as she held onto Mulder's hand, squeezing it, needing his reassuring smile. He rubbed her fingers and looked at her, nodding gently, mouthing "you're not alone in this" to give her a little bit of hope. She nodded, knowing that while the odds were stacked precariously against her, she didn't have to do this alone.

 _Hands to the sky (hands to the sky)_

 _I am a dreamer (I am a dreamer)_

 _Somebody free me from my chains (free me from my chains)_

Eight weeks later, Scully's apartment

7:30 PM –

 _There's an energy_

 _When you hold me_

 _When you touch me_

 _It's so powerful_

"Come on, Mulder…quit playing games and let me open my eyes," Scully stood outside of her apartment door, her hands covering her eyes as instructed.

Mulder smiled, half laughing. "Come on, don't ruin it for me, Scully, just keep those eyes closed for a minute more."

She was healthier looking despite the visible bruising on her arms from the battery of tests and IV's that had been all over her. Her battle was far from over but she was significantly better after round one and two of gene therapy. Mulder opened the door and guided her past the threshold, closing the door softly behind them. Scully giggled and exhaled loudly, exaggerating a little bit of impatience.

"Waiting is not your strong suit, Scully," Mulder had his hands around her waistline as he pushed her forward another foot and aimed her body slightly to the left.

Scully made a little 'tiss' sound with her teeth and tongue before continuing. "I want to open my eyes, Mulder…come on!"

He had his mouth near her ear, whispering gently. "Ok, impatient one, open them."

Scully let her hands slide away from her eyes, revealing the mystery that Mulder had carefully concocted on her behalf. The table was set, the room lit only by candles, and two place settings were ready. Scully was beaming as she saw a large paper sack from her favorite restaurant on the counter, ready to be served.

"Oh Mulder—you shouldn't have," Even though there was no need for tears she was already tearing up at the gesture.

"You have been through a nightmare and you're still not done, this is really the least that I could do under the circumstances," Mulder pulled out the chair for her, offering the seat. "If you think this is everything, you are definitely mistaken, Scully."

Scully sat down and bit down on the corner of her lip, "Certainly full of surprises, Mulder."

Mulder put a plate of shrimp fried rice, kung pao chicken, and a modest portion of pot stickers in front of her along with a myriad of dipping sauces for her choosing before pouring her a glass of sweet plum sake. He set up a plate and glass for himself before sitting down to join her. She took a bite of one of the pot stickers and let out the most delightful groan of satisfaction from the flavor.

"Everything is good I take it?" Mulder didn't even necessarily need to ask as he submerged a pot sticker into a little dipping sauce before taking a bite.

Scully smiled, nodding gently. "Who helped you pull this one off, Mulder?"

"Oh…your mother simply offered to pick up a hot dinner after a quick phone call. She let herself in while I came to pick you up from the hospital tonight," Mulder smiled softly. "I think she has a crush on me, Scully."

Scully let out one of those beautiful, from the bottom of her belly laughs, nearly spitting her sake all over herself in the process. "Oh, yes, Mulder—she certainly does. It's undeniably true…should I step back so you can run off with my mother?"

"Nah, she's going to just have to realize that a certain stubborn, skeptical redhead has my head turned in her direction," Mulder's voice dropped an octave before he took a little sip of his sake, eyeing her over the rim of the glass.

Scully blushed and bit down on the corner of her lip. "Hmmm…you sure about that?"

Mulder smirked from behind his fork, nodding slowly. "Very sure."

They continued to eat their meal, exchanging considerably more of their sarcastic, witty banter between bites and sips. Mulder's attention was on her fully; her body, her smile, her hands, and each curve. The wear on her physical body was evident but she was still stunning. Under her eyes were slightly dark circles, somehow understated next to the pink hue of her cheeks. She had been fighting a battle inside of her body and, despite the invisible scars, she seemed to be winning the battle. She was the constant fighter but he had no idea just how valuable his strength had been to her. The meal was exactly what Scully needed after undergoing part of her treatment for the tumor – she was not sure how well it was working but didn't like that it took her away from everything for days at a time. It was taking its toll on her body but not her mind – and it was not going to. Mulder put his hand over the top of hers, giving it a reassuring squeeze before clearing their plates.

"Hope you saved room…" Mulder rinsed the plates off and set them to one side of the sink, putting the leftovers into the fridge.

Scully's eyes widened as she wiped her mouth on a napkin. "For what?"

Mulder had a couple of saucer plates out on the counter, his hand already halfway into a domed lid. "Go get comfortable on the couch and I'll bring it to you."

Scully smiled, half rolled her eyes, and went to the couch with her half full glass of sake in tow, the curiosity building. She glanced around the room and noticed just how much preparation Mulder had done for her—the entire room was clean, the candles were lit, and not a trace of dust could be seen in the room. It was so clean that you could pick any surface and eat off of it. The vanilla and sandalwood scented candles gave the room a welcomed, inviting odor and she felt relaxed for the first time in a while. She needed this and she knew that he was stepping into a slightly unfamiliar territory of comfort—one that she felt so much gratitude for. She nestled onto one end of the couch and turned herself sideways a bit, bringing one leg onto the couch and pulled the comfy throw over her lap.

"You have my curiosity peaked, Mulder," Scully let out a little giggle, her fingers playing with the glass.

Mulder came around the corner; the plates in his hands, forks perched carefully on the side, the plates just high enough for her to not be able to see their contents. Mulder outstretched one of the plates to her and caught sight of her sweet smile.

"Can't have a nice dinner without dessert, Scully," Mulder sat down with her. "Especially when it's caramel and chocolate cheesecake."

Scully took a bite of the cheesecake after setting her glass onto the coffee table, "This is so good, Mulder. Another obscure restaurant find?"

"This one is a Frohike special, Scully—and no, I made sure that he didn't go lacing it with a roofie. I had to tell him that I was eating it with you, not him," Mulder's mouth was somewhat full, a little bit of the caramel dribbled just enough on the corner of his mouth.

"Always looking out for me, huh, Mulder? Going to have to get Frohike a Martha Stewart cookbook as a thank you," Scully couldn't help but smile they enjoyed a sweet treat together. "Thank you for all of this…I don't know that you will ever know just how much I needed this."

Mulder shrugged his shoulders and put the nearly empty plate on the coffee table. "It's really nothing, Scully."

"Not to me, it isn't…" Scully also finished her slice, setting it down on the table top.

Scully waited a moment before leaning forward and darting her tongue out just a little bit, licking the caramel off of the corner of his mouth, making a low 'mmmm' sound after. Mulder's eyebrows lifted as he watched her settle back against the couch, a little Cheshire cat grin forming on her lips.

"You had a little caramel right there," Scully's voice was soft, sultry even, as she looked at him from a more relaxed position. "You don't mind do you?"

"No, not at all, Scully," Mulder was conflicted as he felt the tingling travel through him like electricity as it collided with his need to shelter her, save her.

Scully sucked her lip into her mouth, biting down just a little bit and slid forward again, this time nearly straddling him, her hands around to the back of his neck, where they played against his skin softly. She leaned in and allowed her backside to rest on his lap, pulling his mouth to hers, kissing him lovingly. Mulder's hands slid around her small frame, running his hands up and down her back while devouring each other's mouths. She wanted his heat, his energy, his passion, and most of all she wanted to feel his heart beating with hers. She was almost aching for him, the rush of emotion from the physical contact flooding, tears streaming down her cheeks. Mulder was instantly intoxicated by her passion but part of him was incredibly concerned about hurting her, his mind flashing back to watching her collapse in his arms.

"Stop, Scully—please," Mulder pulled his mouth from hers, his heart beating up in his chest, half panicking.

Scully looked at him, dejection written across her face. "Mulder—"

"I don't want to hurt you, what if I hurt you? I couldn't bear to see you like that again," Mulder used his thumbs to wipe away the tears from her cheeks. "I won't."

"Mulder, I am not going to break—I'm not a porcelain doll. I collapsed before because of dehydration and I hadn't eaten in 24 hours," Scully held his face in her hands, almost raising her voice to him. "This is why I didn't want to tell you before about the cancer—I didn't ever want to see the look I see in your eyes right now."

Mulder felt like an ass again as the words seared through him. "Scully, no, that's not it…"

Scully stood up, blew out both of the candles on the coffee table and glared at him. "You think I'm weak, you always have."

The verbal shot went straight to his heart, leaving him half stunned. "Scully…"

His eyes diverted to the floor to collect his thoughts but sent the wrong impression to Scully as she went around the room to snuff the candles out, turning on a lamp instead to flood the room with a much harsher light. He could hear her softly sobbing, almost refusing to look at her.

"Mulder, just forget it—you can leave," Scully slung the remainder of her sake back, swallowing hard, tears down her face, and left her empty glass on the edge of the coffee table. "Thank you for the lovely dinner and whatever this was."

 _You are such an asshole._ He kept saying to himself out loud as the silence filled the room, the tension only building more and more. Scully lingered in the room for a moment, hoping that he would just look at her but he left her hanging again. She sighed, her chest shaking from the flood of emotion, before resigning toward her bedroom. She could hear him get up from the couch but didn't care to know what he was doing. She stood at her bedside and pulled a pair of pajamas from the drawers, tossed them on the bed, and started unbuttoning her blouse, tears silently falling down her face. Mulder walked in, a sense of purpose in his movements as he half spun her around, pulling her into his arms.

"I told you that you could lea—"

Mulder cut her off with a kiss that shook her knees, drew her up to her tiptoes, his mouth demanding better access to hers. Scully held onto him as his hands searched the small of her back, pulling her closer, and felt his heart beating against hers. There was power behind this kiss and it had her completely off kilter as she struggled to maintain balance on the tips of her toes. In fact, if he had not been holding her, she would most certainly be on the floor. His tongue found hers and flooded her senses, the heat rising in her belly. Scully gripped Mulder's arms and nearly dug in as his hands slipped to the curve of her ass, gripping it in an upward motion. He wanted her just as much, if not more, than she wanted him. This time it wasn't just a lust that drove him but rather to prove to her just how wrong she was about his feeling on her, through actions not words.

 _I can feel it_

 _When you hold me_

 _When you touch me_

 _It's so powerful_

Mulder reluctantly pulled his lips from her and hovered inches from her, their breathing heavy and nearly synchronized, eyes unwilling to open to look upon the other.

"You're not the weak one, Scully, I am," Mulder finally spoke, looking into her eyes as they finally resolved to look at each other. "Seeing you in that hospital bed made me realize how badly I need you here and I could never live with myself if I ever lost you."

"Then don't, Mulder," Scully kissed his clavicle and dragged her bottom lip to his ear lobe, whispering to him. "Show me how badly you need me."

The words sent a shockwave through him and raised all of the hairs on the back of his neck, followed by the goosebumps across the surface of his skin in every little nook and cranny. He licked his lips and steadied himself on his heels, hands still firmly on her ass, the heat between them continuing to elevate.

"And please," Scully nibbled the spot below his earlobe, "take as long as you need to show me…"

 _There's an energy_

 _When you hold me_

 _When you touch me_

 _It's so powerful_

***Chapter 3 End***

Yes I am so aware of just how mean I am right now but chapter four is COMING. Please leave me love and feedback. BE constructive please.


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